of course. lets lasso hookers.
She got mad when I told her I'd bone her mom. She got MORE mad when her mom heard, and was flattered by it. Proud to say I attract MILFS.
You talked to that cop for like 15 minutes and when you got back, you told us you were "networking".
Gentleman, we have a new medal category - number of women per day in apartment WITHOUT FURNITURE
ALERT: Turns out when I'm drunk I turn into a clepto. I just found keys, a ketchup bottle, and sweatshirt in my backpack that don't belong to me. If yours, come collect from me. I'm still drunk in the back of biology lecture.
He looks like he got hit by a weed-eater with chlamydia
bad night - i tried for naughty librarian but could only manage to pull off pissed off barrista.
And you will no longer be getting a thank you note from my vagina
Definitely just realized I wore a shirt that says "building leaders for Christ" to a hookup. Roll tide.
Cleaning naked can be dangerous. Vacuum cord got stuck on my belly button ring...
I paper cut my nipple reading mail topless
Russell is lonely. He needs a companion.
You're lucky you have a monster cock or most people may just laugh at your penis' nickname.
I know you would. And one day, we'll have a moment where i'll verbally assault a stranger for you.
Just bedazzled a flask, while drinking out of it. Hot glue is EVERYWHERE.
He asked me to describe my life outside work. I responded with "Home-wrecker.
Randomize
