well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
WAKE UP. GET ME THE PILL. AND SAVE MY LIFE
You covered in salsa con queso would take care of all of my cravings right now
A baby just go on our party bus. What. The. Fuck.
I do remember getting hit in the face by an ugly one because she thought I was blowing on her butthole.
Doing blow at 6am to "wake myself up for clinicals" was a baaaaad idea
We legitimately thought something was wrong with you until someone pointed out you were just doing the thriller dance
Just had to buy plan b w/ my robotic baby from family living.. Awkward.
Best surprise in my car. A cookie, sliced kiwi and the rest of my margarita. Work is going to be awesome.
She just came home holding a fire hydrant. Yes a fire hydrant.
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
Want to run by the liquor store later? Tequila Youn should really be in attendance at Party Mountain. No one else could be our spirit animal.
Fuck off I wasn't that drunk. I was still able to toss froot loops in the air and catch them in my mouth.
And in your bra. It was quite entertaining.
she stole my Timberlands and my Sublime shirt and left her heels and bra. this is war
His pet bird was perched ON HIS DICK.
Randomize
