somebody snuck up and got me drunk
I'm drive I can fine osifer
I couldn't deal, she's a vegetarian. Every woman should like a little meat in their mouths.
My parents came down to check and make sure I wasn't into any mischief then proceeded to give me alcohol.
whispering "taste the rainbow" well having sex isn't my biggest turn on.
Dude your neighbors are having a garage sale. They were judging me as I walk of shamed back to my car.
Due to the events of st patties day last year I created a moral and ethical policy so that I won't get kicked out of the bar again. It mostly consists of not wearing pants so then I don't take them off at the bar.. and subsequently get kicked out.
found $100 my ex got arrested and I can receive free health insurance I gotta tell ya 2014 is really going to be my year
i don't know man... i just want to listen to John Lennon every time i finish fucking her. is this love?
His status said "sad." of course I liked it. I don't even care that I was the only one. Facebook isn't your god damn journal, we don't care about your problems.
Also, there's definitely not a non-hilarious way to ask to stick something up your butt.
If you're doing something that makes your best friend lock you in a bathroom you shouldn't be doing it
Googling enemas while I get a pedicure ... My life in one senence
you pulled out seven eyelashes and made me count them multiple times whilst crying hysterically.
YOU GOT ME SO DRUNKK
i got me so drunk!
Randomize
