We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
Why did I cab home last night?
Because you said you were drunk, sad, and someone called you a hooker.
I want to dip my vagina in sugar. Not only will it be sweet, but it will have a nice sparkle.
my love horoscope just told me to "say it in frosting" should i take this literally?? i think yes.
Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
I didn't realize how much I missed him until his balls were back in my mouth..
Woke up this morning with a note saying "great sex, see you never". Why can't I meet more women like her?
I woke up to his gay cousin telling me I had the prettiest boobs. I don't even wanna know.
Hey could you buy me 2 bottles of arbor mist? I'm trying to get laid tonight
At least I got to make out with you a little before you proposed.
Celebrated the veterans I suppose, my mouth tastes of gin and black outs
I have poison ivy and a broken finger. Don't have a threesome in the woods.
he appreciated my fucking vagina for two hours he can appreciate my honesty
Welp, I'm allergic to codeine. Found that one out the hard way.
I gave him breakup sex, AGAIN
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