its like randi wears special contacts, but instead of colors they make her eyes say "I want cock"
dude if Megan calls say you Sis was house sitting for me yesterday , she f'n found dana's panties
well we are all hammered and my parents are reminiscing about all the times they drove us home drunk from Christmas
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
i had confetti in my bra
i still find it in random places like a shoe or my car. that week haunts me
the girl in my class has a rolling backpack and just told it to stay. im too hungover for this.
You said you were going inside to sober up and then you poured yourself a wine glass of warm gin
I'm going to need to borrow your helmet cam for my Wednesday night blackouts.
I was lying there too hungover to move when my dog jumped onto my bed and set half a calzone on my pillow. Best. Dog. Ever.
I will not fill you in on the details until we get back, so do not ask. I got peed on by the girl I was hooking up with last night.
I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
Join us. We're on the roof drinking breakfast
Oh btw I learned how to say "my penis is a flamethrower" in German. Tonights gonna be fun
I'll do my best. he just keeps yelling beer and doing dick helicopters
I basically go to him for great dick and great memes.
Randomize
