I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
Threesome last night. Not that cool, you tend to pick a favorite.
The nurse told me they're using the same medicine that killed michael jackson.
I miss you more than I would miss junk food if I went on a diet. And you've seen me eat, you know how desperate I'd be.
her mom went out of her way to book us a room with separate beds... her level of gay denial is in beast mode
He did a line of coke off my stomach then flipped me over and smacked my ass. Then, while he was talking dirty to me, he told me he wanted to hire someone to clean my room. And that's when he lost his boner. Life is so hard.
DAMMIT Im supposed to be running a company not discussing dick piercings!
Summary of my night: made out with a complete stranger at a club dressed in the Geico gecko costume...
I could fuck to npr.
I have a tattoo that says Yolo. You should not have been asking my advice in the first place
woke with Taco Bell next to me in bed and people's shoe sizes written on my arm.
Honestly I am too high to watch videos of you jerking off right now
i couldn't be more explicit if i hit him upside the head with a dildo
AND ONCE AGAIN THE HENNESSEY MAKES ME A SUPER SAIYAN
Oh for fuck's sake, is that why the couch is in the pool???
Randomize
