the truckdriver in the lane next to me just looked down and motorboated in my direction.
i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
I tried ok? my penis just doesnt like her as much as my mother does
I don't know if it was the room or her, but as soon as the pants came off, it smelt like a locker room and old man farts.
Bath mats should not be used at mops. they don't work. consider this a drunk psa
how you manage to cockblock me from 500 miles away still baffles me.
For public speaking we have to bring an object that describes us to class. Can't decide if I wanna bring a flask or a shot glass.
I was the king of the handle race. My team finished it in 56 minutes.
you don't get it. Nobody wins a handle race. there just degrees of losing.
also, I heard you can donate your eggs for like $8gs....hellloooo mediterranean vacation. thank youuuu future babies!!!
You'll get a boner for sure
Way ahead of you. Kinda awkward while paying rent but hey
He took the Gold in Olympic clit licking last night. Canada should be proud.
Turns out the old man beside me in the waiting room was dead, but other then that it was a good day.
In other news, I just threw up my burrito and am currently on all fours literally crawling back to my bed
I impressed him by taking off my panties without removing my pants.
The first thing he said was that my underwear smelled like Trix but then he looked up at me and whispered "Silly rabbit, vagina is for me."
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