when people say theyve been sober for however many years is that like couple beers not drunk sober, or no drinking sober?
i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
he fingered my asshole thinking it was my vag...I couldn't bring myself to tell him, mostly from shame for me and pity for him
Just passed a strip club with a Marquis sign that said 'tis the squeezin'
Youre on making sure I dont black out around fat chicks duty
Lauren she was gnawing on a dresser. Gnawing. On. A. Dresser.
I'm sad your dog died... Her name is my stripper name.
He sent me an email apologizing for sleeping with her...and by that I mean he sent a picture of his dick to my school e-mail
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
He came over drunk in a speedo i told him he has my vote he said who are you voting for when i said obama he took off running and shouting i was worthless like an empty beer can
If you've ever wanted to get filthy in a Catholic church before 2 on a Wednesday, I might be your guy.
To the person who put the glitter on my ceiling fan...fuck you
i love how you just walk into that dealer's house every time without knocking, yet you don't even know his name
he played intl players anthem 4me and ate a strawberry out of my pussy
Randomize
