Would your heart desire to drink copious amounts of alcohol tonight?
I walked around with red solo cups on my feet, weeds tied around my neck and a tree in my hand
You tried to wave to Meg on Family Guy and got upset because she wasn't waving back
You don't know the true meaning of fear until your girlfriend's niece insists on sitting on your lap with 20 mg of Viagra coursing through your veins.
I am watching xfiles and eating microwaved cookiedough, and I see nothing wrong with it.
I don't need inspirational quotes. If I'm going to be motivated, it will be by anger and spite.
Dick is the cure to depression. I'm almost positive. And cough syrup.
You know the force is loosing strength when Darth Vader can't handle his liquor on halloween.
We just did a u turn on the highway to settle a dispute in a game of slug bug
We haven't had hot water in our dorm all weekend. Do you know if there is any other way to wash off shame?
Another thing to add to the list of things not to do while I'm drunk......explain to the upstairs neighborr how to have quiet orgasams......she now thinks I want to be part of a threesome......fuck my life
this vacation is helping with my sexual bucket list so much. threesome, deaf guy, and outdoor sex all accomplished.
I'll start cleaning the house tonight darlin. So you don't have to fuck your two boytoys in the driveway the next two days.
He kept saying "i'm lost" while he was sitting on his couch...
I collect Covid conspiracy theories like I collect Pokemon.
Randomize
