you'll never believe how fucking awesome rain man is when you're stoned.
my mother and i just seriously had a convorsation about why you cant Google "Refurbished Dildos"
Walking home still drunk in snow. Snowflakes are my only hydration..Need moreee
you screamed santa and jumped in front of 50 kids to tell him you wanted a bong for christmas.
He sent me $300 worth of sex toys. My clitoris went into hiding after two days.
A guy wearing a hard hat while floating the river. It's the most responsible drinking we saw all day.
What can i say, i'm an artist. I think deep thoughts. In between the homoerotica and pterodactyl noises
I just made SCOTCHSICLES. no further info is necessary
We were in the middle of a serious discussion about social justice and he pulled sequins out of his teeth and kept talking like nothing had happened.
Dude, I traded weed for crunch berries. Happy Thursday.
I lost a fight last night. By that I mean I head butt the bar and busted my lip open.
I didn't know that all of his brothers would be hot and musical too. That's a dick move on behalf of biology.
So high that I just walked into class, late, sat down in my desk, and tried to buckle my seatbelt.
I don't know how I got home but I'm pretty sure the guy in my closet had something to do with it
Pretty sure he was in my class in like 2nd grade
I like how you know everyone I've ever fellated.
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