I need to shower the guilt off of my thighs.
you made cement angels. it was a great sight.
I wouldnt endorse that guy if he was walking in a walkathon to raise money for a disease i had
She said her first boyfreind was so small she is still technically a virgin.
So you walked 4 miles to get home but stopped by the store first to get a vegetable tray? How drunk were you?
i just dedicated my kegstand to your breasts
Party at my house. Beach themed. Clothing optional.
Wouldn't that make it "Nude Beach Themed?"
Then he rubbed shampoo all over my arm and shouted, "Garnier FUCK THIS."
Last night you snap chatted some chick a pic of bottle service with the caption "send tits"
You walked up to me, grabbed my face and said "I just peed in the sink!"
Then we woke up and they shouted "Emergency Vodka!!" and that's how we got redrunk.
My skirt was too short for the church and I brought my flask to the Scrooge play. God bless us, everyone!
I thought you were dead but then you asked me if your tits looked good. They did.
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
I woke up handcuffed to a bed wearing nothing but an army belt. Does this count as thanking our country?
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