I changed my tire completely alone.. I could totally win survivor
Its my greatest physical accomplishment
Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
I made out with four boys last night, AND EXCUSE ME WHILE I COUNT HOW MANY GIRLS.
I think I just sold my virginity for plane tickets
and I'm going to name my autobiography "blow jobs with enthusiasm are the best"
I'm naming my autobiography "Reasons Not to Date Girls From Texas."
He is gay. There is no bi when you have a manhunt AND you are an art major. That's like a unicorn without a horn, it just isn't possible.
I am sitting here. Drinking from a bottle of vodka. Eating shredded cheese from a bag and waiting on him to pick me up after he finishes with his girlfriend. This is what dreams are made of.
Indeed. Apparently I called my sisters and told them I wouldn't get arrested because it's not a real sword.
Peeling duct tape off of my dick is definitely one of the stranger sensations that I've experienced.
Hey do you eat chocolate chip pancakes with bacon in?
DO NOT MAIL ME A PANCAKE
Tony's mom to him at breakfast: "I found the shirt you wore last night in the bushes this morning."
I'm pretty sure my therapist gave me the green light to fuck him.
I love you. Doing a double. Going to die. It will be painful. Let the world know i partied. God, did i party.
I don't know if it was the movie or the drugs but after i watched it i wore the same spongebob shirt to school for two weeks and stopped showering
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