that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
I've never seen anyone write a check for a bar tab before
Im pretty sure he just said he wants to make a baby with me, but he's pretty shitfaced, so I'm not sure if he knows who I am.
I didn't budget in chasers this month so were chasing everything with water. Sorry.
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
Can't tell if its the LSD or if that demon man just stared at my penis. Cleveland is a weird place. All true stories.
Let me get this straight, you're telling me to lower my standards? Even though last week you told me I don't have any..?
You know what a wolf looks like when it kills a small animal? How it shakes it around in it's mouth? I did that to a bag of Taco Bell last night
I only blacked out one night of three if that isn't fucking personal growth idk what is
You know you're gay when you have to have your coworkers explain to you why your bracket is terrible
We probably shouldn't have humped each other in a stairwell for an hour. that was probably my bad
What's the best way to tell a guy he can call me when his impending divorce is finalized?
DUDE!!!!! THERE IS A MIDGET HANDING OUT RICE KRISPIE TREATS!!!!!! WHERE ARE YOU WHEN THE COOL SHIT GOES DOWN???????
He kept referring to my giving him head as a new level in our relationship and acting sentimental
You gave him a bj, not a kidney
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