Hey babe, chan wants you to stop texting her about the size of TJ's dick. please.
i found you on the dancefloor with your cell phone to your ear saying that you didn't like the music they played at the club so you were going to listen to your own
just crush a couple of percocets into it. tell him sam adams came out with a new beer. flavored with sleep.
i just peed with my friends in your backyard... do you still live here
This is stressing me out. I feel like I need to eat the dick.
She did my hair, then ate me out. Switching teams was an awesome decision.
i know it happened because it happened right beside me, and at one point on top of me.
Thank you for calling me on to a higher level of debauchery. fuck anyone who says we aren't good for each other
Get your penis over here NOW. emergency
Just told my mom I need money for Molly. She was not happy
You just kept screaming "COME GET ME OFFICER, MY ALLIGATOR MEANS BUSINESS" while swinging a beanie baby alligator at him.
Well, he was my lawyer and now we get drunk and hook up.
That explains the way he looks at you.
You're the best thing in my life, followed closely by cannabis and trashy romance novels
Just a couple of adults talking about cum shots at 8am on presidents day
its like i get a dick upgrade with every new guy i screw, at this rate i'm scared to see my next one
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