What a fucking waste of an outfit
You should never have let annie watch you have sex with other women
just woke up and he was jacking off in the corner.. am i being punked?
After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
Waldo just asked us for directions. Even he doesn't know where he is.
so I told him I hadn't been laid since Bush was president. Right after he cums, he says "Welcome to the Obama Administration".
can you call in chlamydia to work? like if the antibiotics they gave you for it are giving you the shits...
I stumbled into my living room at 4 a.m. to find him hurling my laptop across the room and his pants around his ankles. Clearly his night didn't go as planned.
We still on for coffee?
Cream and sugar. Deliver to planned parenthood in 45.
I think weed is turning my hair brown
I'n not even sure we went out, but I know we broke into a cemetery.
Just saw the bridesmaid use her new sister in law as a stripper pole
Being sober is no fun. Karaoke and not wearing pants are not socially acceptable things to do anymore and this depresses me.
THAT HOSPITAL MADE ME REALIZE THAT I'M BISEXUAL
I just want a guy who makes lots of money, has a skilled penis and the sex drive of a 22 year on Viagra. Is that too much to ask?
Randomize
