there really is only one way to give a PowerPoint presentation in your senior capstone class: still drunk.
She's Christian and monogamous. Two wammies right there. No amount of convincing will turn that bi for a night.
I just woke up wearing the O-ring from my dildo harness as a bracelet. Classy.
I suppose drinking a cosmo at lunch alone can't look good but I mean... sometimes it's just necessary
She was drunk breaking up with me. All of my emails to her were coming back with UNSUBSCRIBE as the subject.
Either I'm spending too much time drinking or my perfume is starting to smell like a pineapple vodka.
I want to be ashamed of the things we do this weekend
Don't ask how or why, but I think the 775 on the inside of my lip is permanent
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
First night sober since New Years. I'm not sure what hurts more, the hangover or the credit dread when I find out what the tickets to Bali actually cost.
I am trying to take a picture of a man in a wheelchair trying to ship a michael jackson portrait
You have a long distance relationship and I have a long distance snapchat sexting buddy. If that doesn't describe who we are as people then I don't know what does.
And then my night got REAL pukey
Vodka, rum, moonshine, I don't care, just bring like 5gallons.
so i find a box of condoms inside my car with turn by turn directions to her bedroom... kinda freaked out cause she got my address and somehow inside my car
Randomize