If I could text you the sound of me vomming, I would.
that's the ideal party shoe. cute, but i can still puke in them.
He cummed in my mouth, then said he had to go because his best friend broke his foot falling off of a balcony, put twenty dollars in my hand and was gone before I could even swallow...
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
I made her cum... she sounded like Ray Romano
He told me he breastfed 'til he was six. That explains the obsession with me getting fake tits. Is it a red flag?
As much as I'm all for laying on his living room couch, watching spongebob and having spoon sex, it's becoming a routine.
BEER BONG IN THE STOCKROOM COME IN TO WORK TODAY
at first i was on the bathroom floor cuz i was hungover. now im just here because it is cool
I'm drunk off vodka and I haven't eaten today. I've never felt more like Kirsten Cohen in my life.
Sorry, I was trapped in a small closet behind a washer. What's up?
Note to self: don't practice nerdy white girl dance choreography in the company bathrooms no matter how nice the huge mirrors and lighting are.
literally just blacked in. Im watching what to expect when your expecting, eating pretzels and peanut butter, and I have someone's underwear around my neck.
He said he wanted to lick the breadcrumbs off my chest
He saw me naked after our first date and still asked for a second.. so I think we’re doing good
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