dude, my own friends sent me home from a party last night. real cool assholes. real cool
bro i finally banged her last night on our basement couch
I'm at this frat party right now and yelled "my little 16 year old brother finally lost his virginity." They gave you a standing ovation
Admitting I go to nursing school is my subtle way of saying, yes, I know every muscle in your penis and how to effectively use them.
I puked in the revolving door and had to sit down on the escalator. That hungover. It's safe to say people are judging me.
He kept insisting that I was going to have an orgasm but it just felt like he was rubbing sand paper on my vagina
Do any of you want to be on a three way call with me while this girl masturbates in 10 min? You can't talk
what is it with giant penises always finding me
Or I could just give you a blow job and make it up to you.
No, that's okay. Don't worry about it.
Going once.....twice.........sold to the girl who didn't really wanna do it anyway.
Why do the people I hook up with still exist after we're done?
I did what any insensitive guy would do bought her friends shots and tried to fuck them
He leaned off the deck, puked a waterfall of beer, looked back at everyone and said "it was just a burp".
Dudes don't just lick butts of chicks they're not into.
Just laying in bed with my vibrator eating cold tortillas and listening to Savage Garden.
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
QUICK FAX ME THE BALL
Not how faxing works at all btw
Randomize