im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
buying booze in bulk is always a bad idea. i wish there was some direct deposit-like system
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
I just realized I've stolen a hat from every guy I fucked. Except the last one. Maybe there is hope for me.
He's so young, I keep getting a mental image of him in footie pajamas. It's cute but it's wrong. Or is it?
He was dressed as ron burgundy and his pickup line was "dont worry, i wont make you jump in a bear pit."
Matt just ate a burger out of the trash can in front of the McDonalds. We need to have a serious talk about his drinking.
have you ever seen all dogs go to heaven this is important
Honestly I was sitting in managerial accounting thinking "I really need to get my shit together and stop drinking so much wine." But when you asked I realized... it's wine. It's always a yes.
she wanted me to tie her up with my playstation charger cord. i kept on hoping she wasn't a squirter. those cords r expensive. could have def been a Sony commercial tho
I'm about to order this penis-casting kit so text me within 5 mins if you're not down
Stop leaving buckets of wine at my house.
If I could go one week without being called a maneater or a spanish trolip that would be great.
My first love was gay too, it's okay.
Mike fell asleep with his hand down my pants. I'm clearly an enticing person.
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