you kept begging me not to tell anyone you had been a bat in another life
we have to get out to the bar earlier. all of the guys are already committed to the girls they're going home with.
His sister just told me that she thinks i'm a stupid bitch and that by going thru with this I'm ruining his life.
sounds like a hell of a rehearsal dinner
Im in search of the perfect penis, it would be unethical for me not to test run them.
you almost dropped the shot glass then you thought you were such a hard ass for catching it that you slammed it on the table and broke it
'Twas I. Do you have any idea what it's like waking up to see you sent a text inviting someone to partake in "sexy rumpus?"
You were walking around in your swim suit, an open robe, snow boots and a death grip on that handel of captain morgan.
well after pounding on the ceiling for 5 mins i just went up there to tell them to shut up.. 2 hours later i'm naked, high, lying on their kitchen floor. it escalated so quickly
I mean I'm not gay but a hundred bucks is a hundred bucks
I am going to tweet NASA until they put me into space
Those rocketship riding assholes need the common man
Dude you spoke to a girl about CRICKET. She MUST want sex
Well I either feel like the fat girl or very accomplished because his bed is now broken in three places
I hope none of us try to run for public office one day
I say I'm working from home on conference call days, but really I just mute the phone, put that shit on speaker so I can hear what's going on, and let Marcus fuck my brains out.
He stole me a cantaloupe and we drunkenly broke into a park and ate it on a bench with my pocket knife. I think i need to marry him
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