Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
note to self... there IS such a thing as having too many birthday shots...
He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
she laid there and continued moaning loudly for like 10 minutes after we were done, just so that her mom would be jealous
Although last time you were unsure about someone they flipped a golf cart on me.
So, when I got arrested, they fingerprinted me. I'm getting my nails done right now and I'm pretty sure he's filing off my prints. Worth the $30.
(This is the second time ive been high enough to decide to run for office)
Just caught myself checking an online porn site while in a strip club. Might have a problem.
My mom just asked me about the teeth marks on my headboard..
I slept with my wedding DJ..... I think this means my life has come full circle
She puked in the bed, peed in the closet, and woke up on a Rubbermaid in the closet under the stair case
Dude I woke up with a handprint shaped bruise on my ass, a pong ball in my cleavage, and somebody else's gold chain around my neck. Who's house am I in?
u better not lose ur virginity to a sugar daddy who doesn’t post a pic of himself to tinder
After 25 beers and 3 shots my best friend thought it would be an amazing idea to get his dick pierced. We are on our way.
OMG OMG OMG!!!! I made his penis bleed!! I repeat I MADE HIS PENIS BLEED!!!!
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