there is a time and a place for ass-grabbing and that was not it.
Just considered the plausability of using my detachable showerhead as a beer bong. Has my life really devolved to this?
yep. it's official. for $40 they will let you lick the stripper pole.
Can you give me a hickey quick? Im going to a white trash themed party. Completely serious
well.. I tried flushing my sandals down the toilet
I walked home with an awkward asain couple. There was a language barrier but I think we're friends now.
Sorry I dragged you across a parking lot
And I feel like pitchers of margaritas accidentally make it down your throat a lot.
I mean, the lady at the Mexican restaurant insisted. She said she would win a prize if she sold another pitcher before noon. And plus I got to wear a sombrero
He actually offered up a silent prayer thanking God for my "tremendous ass." You tell me how my night is going.
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
all a girl really needs is a few good pair of leggings and a drug dealer that delivers.
Nothing says "I Love you" like my dick in a pizza box
I ask for a dick pic and he sends a picture of Dick Cheney. Who does that?
Quit bitching. I brought you a muffin.
We blew shit up to. With a cannon.
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