Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
During the middle of giving him head, he flashes his phone and says "I like to watch."
i knew it was going to be a good night when i was bleeding, licked it and it tasted like miller light
And then he proceeded to take my heartbeat, because apparently that tells him whether I was faking or not...
If you can't find your cat in the morning it's cause i put him in the laundry basket and then put the laundry basket in the shower.
Dude I swear I heard "geet out!!!" when I went down on her. I shouldve listened.
I feel like I deserve an award for facing my fear of penises in my face.
I feel like the fact that I slept with someone who dresses up like Batman a few times will never be lived down.
Quick question. How did my clothes end up in your room on your bed and I end up outside your room naked on your couch?
I'm on my way back with the wine... And a puppy. It was free.
My name will be tattooed on his ass by sunday.
Can't. Way too high. Forgot how to operate doors. Stuck outside.Come get me.
If I don't get struck by a lightning bolt from God by midnight it will be a Christmas miracle.
By the end of our first date my penis was pierced.
Randomize
