They left shortly after you claimed the dirty rug as your mattress and began alternating between singing "Dayman" and "Nightman"
It just sucks seeing everyone get flowers but me...
yeah, but they die. it takes a while, but they die. just like all of these kids relationships will. tequila doesnt die. its a live in the moment thing... like a valentines day one night stand. so long run, tequila is the better gift.
his pokemon pajamas? the fact that he was proud of the stretchmarks on his arms? or finding out he has a daughter that went to high school with us? ...you tell me what was the dealbreaker
Funny favor to ask you... can you ask James to ask Chris if he came in me ? Trying to assess whether or not I need plan B.
I wish there was a non slutty way to ask the guys across the hall if i can copy their men's bathroom key so I have one for my one night stands
Penises. Penises everywhereeeeeeeee. Penis ratio is sooo disproportionate. I can't NOT get laid tonight.
For future reference, the blowjob coupons I gave you for your birthday are NOT transferable to pay your friends for tacos.
My favorite bartender added me on Facebook. Now he can clearly see how under 21 I am
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
In hindsight, drunkenly yelling "I'M TICKLISH" might not have been an entirely wise decision
The notary thing was a good idea. I can charge $2 per signature. I'm currently being paid in beer.
Listen, I've got balls in my face can I call you back
My diet fell off the wagon when I began texting the pizza delivery guy my location on frat row.
Oh god. Charles just fell off the bar. Didn't spill his drink. He's come so far..
I think I left my bra and my crocs in your room
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