I feel like your standards for women is like rent-a-centers standards for credit.
I hooked up with a Michael Jackson impersonator last night. Too soon?
I don't know what your problem is but seriously you're a cunt for throwing up that song on your page. It's rude as fuck
omg its myspace i didnt think anyone took that seriously anymore
You know the gilmore girls would be alright if it was on mute the whole time
I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
When I like her vacation photos, it really means "Im sleeping with your boyfriend." wonder if she will make the connection.
Just saw a crackhead get taken down by pd in the canal. Its offically spring
Yeah? Well I'm currently predrinking downstairs in my room by myself. Absolut and water with a hint of mint because I'm using the glass I keep my toothbrush in. Fuck, you bitches better get off work soon.
I repeat the shot was ON FIRE. I am never going to a pirate bar again.
I almost itched my nose with the lit end of a cigarette. Help.
Your shoe was in the washing machine. I have it in my pocket. My phone rang before and I answered your shoe. Meet me at the bar in 10.
I shaved last nite, you should see my cock it looks like a beautiful skyscraper
Last night was incredible. I can tell by the nacho cheese on my jacket
He told me he sees me like a sister then 10 mins later tried to make out with me.
SOME DUDE PUT OUT FOR A MCCHICKEN AND YET YOU STILL WON'T FUCK ME
Randomize
