you really should stop posting my phone number on craigslist as tranny seeking tranny, last night i answered at family dinner and almost choked on my hot dog
do you not see the irony in that??
We thought you were crowd-surfing until we realized it was the bouncers throwing you out
I knew things were bad when I walked in on you feeding juice to your iPhone
Sometimes you gotta say "hey, its been a long semester. Let's puke before 10"
That's the fall semester you first snorted drugs off my ass I think
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
He just walked from his house to mine. Walked in and asked for a hug and then left.. And he's sober.
Right now, there's some ten year old kid getting ready to go outside and play basketball. He will soon find out his basketball hoop was no match for my car.
Swish.
How did you not realize the handbrakes were stuck?
I thought I was just out of shape.
She'll feel so accomplished if she finally gets to bang me.
Good, I would never sleep with your boyfriend , or send you an edible arangment
If you recall, I made a Zoolander reference almost immediately after you pulled out of me the first time we had sex.
I love how u said nothing about the sidewalk sex but refused shower sex
I just motorbotted some guy and my hair got stuck in his nipple ring...owww
I've decided it's okay if I take a pregnancy test every month. Then I can be like, "Good job, self, way to not procreate this month!"
Randomize
