i just used a urinal to avoid climbing stairs, i need to quit drinking.
he was fingering me to the beat of a lady gaga song. new high? new low? i don know, but i came, so whatever.
You burnt your salmon and tried to mail it. Post marked to: Starving Kid in Africa
Found my puke from September encrusted to the floor under the dresser while cleaning before move out ..... Oh Freshman year
He's stoned as shit, eating breakfast cereal and taking a dump. All while listening to dubstep. We may never understand him.
The problem with never associating with your roommate is that you never know if they're dead in their room with the door closed or just gone for the weekend...I sprayed some febreeze just in case.
Dude he's not responding... I'll take that as an unpleasant visit to the clinic
You asked him for a membership to him and his dick.
He sent me nudes and then a text asking if I tried the new Cantina Bowl from Taco Bell. He sure does romance right, doesn't he?
I found my grandmother's vibrator, how was your day?
YOU JUST GOT OUT OF THE HOSPITAL AND YOU'RE ALREADY DRINKING?!
I can't hang out with this penis. I'll start thinking I like the person it belongs to.
you face planting the wall was epic
did you at least save my tooth
That was before I lit my hair on fire
Just once, can I please come back to a room that doesn't smell like beer and cum?
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