I just puked in the mop bucket at work. I think I need to go home.
i would eat my own dick if it were covered in nutella
he called AT&T to make sure that he had insurance before he threw his cell phone into the fountain.
That would explain his violent outburst while watching barefoot contessa...
We still going to Happy Hour
Idk. I can't because it doesn't fit in my schedule of sleeping or throwing up
Guys, Black Friday does not exist in the world of dealing. Stop texting me asking what my deals are.
In the last 3 months, I've slept with an ex,someone single, someone in a relationship, someone married, and someone divorced. I should get some type of grown up girl scouts badge.
He tried to puke in the 14th hole and when I told him to stop he started chanting "hole in one hole in one"
Wesley I'm sober and my body hurts. There wasn't much trust in any of those falls.
i've now hooked up with two guys who have tattoos of their sister's names...so that's a reality i have to live with...
for not the first time in my life, my clothes are covered in piss and i'm standing in line waiting to buy pedialyte at a convenience store
Do you feel better now that you've sent me a picture of your dick?
Yep.
I'm taking pictures of my asshole to send to my boss. This is not what I had in mind the day after thanksgiving.
I tried to fuck you in my bathroom while my parents were in the next room. I am a clusterfuck of fun.
I HATE BEING THIS HIGH FML IT'S LIKE I'M MAKING UP FOR ALL THE 4:20S I DIDNT DO ALL AT ONCE
Randomize
