It was my birthday today and i decided that i am not checking my notifications on facebook so ill feel popular
Wrong number and your a loser
Look at it this way: if he'll have sex with a tomato, he'll have sex with you.
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
So roofie roulette was a success but I'm a little worried that the 2 who got the tainted beer still haven't contacted anyone...
Minus the pink eye. Do I look fuckable tonight?
he also bled all over my floor. unrelated to cats but true nonetheless.
SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.
Idk, you were a drunk pirate that kept stealing pieces of people's costumes to keep as your booty.
That would explain all the random shit in my room...
think he just told me if I need to shit I should go outside.
i think god would be more upset with me for turning down such a beautifully crafted cock than he would for me liking girls
Is it weird to smoke a bong with a client from work?
Just had a reminder come up that just said "Ham"
A cop may or may not have seen my bare ass against the moonlight within the past hour
Is it a bad thing when vodka doesn't taste like vodka anymore?
At some point i am going to say to you "i have this really bad idea! You in? " just go with it.
Randomize
