WHY CAN'T YOU EVER SHIT LIKE A NORMAL PERSON, JESSE.
I just made princess spaghettios..and I wonder why she broke up with me for not being mature enough.
i called him pencil dick in front of over half of his fraternity brothers...
...never gotten so many high fives in my life! fuck ya i win!
I understand Curling. That high.
& he told me 'I don't think ur a big slut-just kind of an average slut'
HE THINKS THATS A COMPLIMENT!!!!!
two gay guys came in and bought just a kite and a box of wine. Why cant I have saturday nights that awesome
So here i am dipping ice cream in my vodka and watching the bad girls club on demand. This is not ok
I just called him "young grasshopper" in a conversation. THIS is why I don't get numbers when I'm sober
I'm not surprised. You have the libido of an Italian soccer team.
On a better note: I'm on pace for 730 female produced orgasms in 2013.
i just called my dad a bottom. he agreed
This place is full of unfortunate mustaches.
Should I be flattered that she mumbled "You're the king of my face" before passing out?
YOU ARE STRONGER THAN YOUR VAGINA
I'm the one who said we should take things slow. I'm also the one who forced him into the back on my car so we could have sex.
Randomize
