Dude I wish you were here. I'm innthe back seat and it looks like outer space and everything feels like rice. idk. wtf.
he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
You burnt your salmon and tried to mail it. Post marked to: Starving Kid in Africa
I haven't even gone in yet. I'm sitting in the waiting room playing a game i like to call "Who else is here for AA".
Even DaVinci knew it was gay to draw the penis big. Thanks art history
nothing says new school year like ambulances and police road blocks.
Legitimately semi-blackout across the table from the governor off a chardonnay i can't even pronounce.
this morning i checked my reflection in the toilet as i was throwing up to make sure i still had my pearl earrings on
I never thought to pass out in a hotel lobby rather then paying for a hotel room until you taught me that's acceptable at the Hilton
It is too early in this hangover to be seeing some guys ass crack.
Did I really just find a cheez- it box full of condoms in your room?
He motorboated me, gave me a business card that said congratulations on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
What made this night legendary was getting pulled over for looking suspicious while wearing an iron man mask
Was he good-huge or like "what the fuck do i do with this"-huge
Dude did you see that video of yourself crying while bathing in vodka on YouTube?
Randomize
