he kept whispering yes yes yes yes the entire 15 minutes. i almost wish it was a quickie.
You may see me on espn tomorrow drunk, half naked, and selling articles of clothing to rich cougars like i did last year, but i will NOT be drinking shitty beer
And there might be a gallon of sangria without the lid on the floor in your room. Just be careful when you open the door.
Sorority life is like alcoholic girl scouts, plus douchebags in polos.
why is there a fishing net hanging from my ceiling fan?
I want a MapMyFart App, where I can mark every spot where I have ripped one. Like here.
You went full blown lifeguard... You wouldn't let me sleep until I was in the safety position, so I wouldn't die in my sleep...
blew off easter dinner with the fam to go play shot roulette. woke up in nothing but my boxers in the back of a random pickup truck.
Shouting "one vagina to rule them all" was probably not the best way to meet our best mates fiance
my goal for the rest of college is to escape STD free. fuck getting a job. this is more important.
Just laying in bed with my vibrator eating cold tortillas and listening to Savage Garden.
All I remember is the bartender saying your sucking them down and waking up on the floor in my underwear
At one point my little brother was Rocky Balboa'd by a stripper's tit
Well I just had a flashback of something I did in the 4th grade. Now I can't go back to sleep.
Well I'm back. Could you fill me in on what I missed?
You don't want to know. Trust me.
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