its 9am. i just got home. spent 6 hours blowing him in a closet last night
Saying he's good in bed would be like saying Soulja Boy is a good rapper, completely unlogical if you've heard him.
Could you please tell them to stop whispering "thundercunt" every time I walk in the room?
....I found a picture of what appears to be the underneath side of the barstool (taken from the floor) and to top that, 9 pictures of the ceiling. Also, did I mention there's a picture with us posing with a pregnant lady at the bar?! WELP
I took 20 bucks from you because when I woke up I saw more of you than I ever wanted to see bro.
Totally acceptable.
Haha yeah this costume is worse than I imagined. I look more like a gothic hooker who caters specifically to creepy men with doll fetishes
Lesbians had sex in my bed last night. It's a thing of pride
I convinced a German girl that I was born while my mom was water skiing and I preceded to barefoot ski behind her via the umbilical cord...
So he just rolled you off his dick and fell on the floor?
I drank so much that my feet don't feel like my feet
He brought over a bottle of tequila and a box of donuts with the Plan B, so I guess you could say things are getting pretty serious.
I think my liver has finally had enough and is going all Ashley-Judd-in-a-Lifetime-movie on me.
The condoms have been found. I repeat: THE CONDOMS HAVE BEEN FOUND. he isn't a collector!!!
I'm glad that we laid to rest the suspicion that he was keeping them in a scrapbook. yayy
I don’t know what he is but he sure can suck a lollipop.
what happened last night?
we watched you eat an entire bag of dorritos in the pouring rain... you refused to come inside
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