Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
So after your 27th or so beer, you gave me songs you want to have used if you're ever on intervention.
I woke up with the wrong plaid-shirted guy in my bed.
Now that I'm 21, I feel like I'm letting North Dakota down by not being drunk everyday
y-o-u-r-e = you are, y-o-u-r = your. you are a bag of douche not your bag of douche. if you're going to insult me at least do it in proper english. that is all.
i love waking up at 5am with an imprint of a toilet seat on my chest
I swear this guy grew up in land without leagues. someone should inform him he's way out of mine
she just came into my room, drunkenly shoved six dollars into my bra and told me to spend it on chicken wings.
You really need to get over the whole "jail" thing. Its really not that bad.
I feel like having peed on eachother is a point in our lives we should never have gotten to...
I should start wearing my Batman shirt more often when I drink. Good things happen. All sorts of shit.
How is it that I, the only one that didn't drink last night, was the only one puking out the car window?
Dude I had sex with her and she STILL thinks I'm gay. I don't know what else to do.
Get here now. There’s a guy dressed as Captain Morgan handing out miniature bottles of Captain Morgan.
Randomize
