Hey, go out with us like you promised. You're younger than us and should be able to handle your coke problem with grace.
so whenever I text yeah my phone automatically corrects it to yeahhhheeehhyeahyeahh .. too much party in the USA?
then she said "on the count of three I think we should apologize to eachother"
Well he paid for dinner, so I paid for the Plan B, but the parking ticket I got is totally his responsibility.
I had a great penis washing session in the sink before I left. Washed off all the bar and green beer
Oh my god. I'm sorry if i peed on you last nite. I am truly disgusting
she just blew up the empty bag of wine and used it as a floatation device.
got fuckng wasted at spring training, got a lap dance at le girls, got a burrito at filibertos, and still made it to my 5 o'clock eco class wearing a bikini top....I love Arizona State University
Ultimate Fighter Idea. You and I both have unprotected sex with the same girl in the spam of days. Whoever the child belongs to, wins and that child is the ultimate ultimate fighter.
How high are you?
On a side note...my DUI lawyer just snapchatted me. This is the exact moment in time when I realized my like IS a joke.
Some guy I've never met before just came outside and started rolling a blunt on our fence and passed it around to all six of us. At eight in the morning. Today's gonna be weird.
She has this wild look other eyes like she wouldn't be afraid to commit a felony.
The only people who will bring me pizza or tacos want a commitment and I'm hungry for food not their love.
Not entirely sure how I got drunk off 2 mimosas but here I am
I didn't even respond. Just letting the crazy settle before I calmly fuck his shit up.
Randomize