Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
She always manages to outslut me. I can't keep up
Omg just remembered. I tried to kidnap a dog.
the game I always play with drunk me is can-you-button-and-unbutton things? If the answer is no, go home. Usually it's his pants
You're a disgrace to the female race and the love triangle and halloween.
WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WE'RE WATCHING BIRTHING VIDEOS!!!!
Tequila pump. I'm ecstatic your engineering degree has real world application.
I believe I can fly has to be one of the most inspirational songs of our time. Seriously R. Kelly nailed it
Then he went and peed on those teenagers.
So the guy I hooked up with during welcome week just tried to booty call me from across the lecture hall at 9am. I don't think he gets how this works...
His roommates came in the room and were throwing snowballs at us while we were hooking up.
A special kind of bond is formed between two people when they act as a pee shield for one another for drunken pisses in an alleyway
gay sex achievement: unlocked
what
you told me you were going out for groceries!!
Also, McDonald's breakfast is now 24/7. This is it. This is how I die. Face first in a pile of hashbrowns.
Three times. Three times I left home yesterday in search for sex, and three times I returned un-orgasmed.
THIS IS WHAT CELL PHONES ARE FOR! So you can tell me that you're bringing your coworker who lives in the "Halleleuia community" home for a beer SO I'M NOT DRESSED IN LEATHER LINGERIE WHEN HE WALKS IN THE FUCKING DOOR!!
Randomize
