he just said he'd buy the porn
its a step up from the last guy
i'm surrounded by gay midgets. not sure if i'm bragging or asking you to come rescue me. wait for follow up.
i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
I'm retiring my vagina. Better yet I'm Farve-ing it.
Def the best call fo sho
That way it can come out of retirement anytime and play for different teams. And it can wear Wranglers.
I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
i was just singing like a virgin out loud my mom told me to stop kidding myself
She cut off the top of a watermelon and is now eating it with a spoon. She's more than half done.
You need to let me be on top sometimes. I gotta get rid of these love handles
Go forth my little lesbian, get your gayme on
multiple people will be seeing my nips tonight. not mad about it at all
I'm the only person who goes to break up a friends with benefits and comes out with a boyfriend
I just sustained a forearm injury dancing to salt n peppa in my kitchen. Fack. I pushed it real good.
I knew my sister shouldn't have gone to the bacherlotte party. Two of the other brides maids have black eyes and my fiancé called me and asked if this is the crazy she's marrying
No feeling is better than coming home from your booty call and putting on a fresh pair of granny panties
Our livers are going to hate us.
It's okay, they're regenerative. God wanted this.
Randomize
