we got back to my place and he started talking about feelings. i politely told him to leave and that he managed to cock block himself.
Her brother was practicing the clarinet....it was like having sex in a starbucks
this girl is having heart failure because she lost her feather...a gypsy blessed it in turkey. Not sure im high enough for this
I can't be drunk. Sober yes. Drunk no. Spoonfuls
I found him in the livingroom trying to soak up broken glass with the clock from the kitchen.
You rode him down the last flight of stairs like a human sled.
On that note I give you a 10 for sticking the landing and staying on the whole ride.
Guess what happened to me today at work?
I have chlamydia. What happened.
Oh lets talk about your news first. Mine is happy so it should go second.
I might not remember all of last night but I clearly remember the part where I humped the mailbox.
I want to throw pennies on her stage, or just ripping up a dollor bill and throw them one at a time.
My aunt left me alone with the instructions to "get waisted" by the time she returns. I love drunk aunt.
dude, im taking a shit and i just realized it's his MOM in the shower not him...oh fuck
I know but at least you've never been asked to have sex dressed up like Catwoman
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
I could tell you were slightly drunk by the time you started having a conversation with my tiki torch
he woke up this morning, drunk as fuck, butt ass naked, and he had left grandmas gun on the counter and doesn't know why.
Randomize