margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
i swear to god her finding her clit was like looking for a sock in a dryer full of beach towels
he's sitting on top of the fridge in only a black speedo and wont get down
You tried to pay the bartender in graduation checks, I think you'll be fine in the real world.
I think she just stepped in a piece of mac and cheese, picked it off the bottom of her foot and ate it.
Opened my wallet to find a slice of ham with a phone number written on it in sharpie.
i think i swapped my keys for drugs last night
Would it be inappropriate to trade Christmas cookies for sex?
If you need anything just hit me up
Pancakes
Noted.
Pretty sure I just noped a member of the Canadian women's hockey team on Tinder.
Hey sorry for calling you so much last night. I mixed your number with the pizza guys, and he was running late
His dick is a skeleton key. It fits everywhere.
Ugh. I just found a cum stain on my mermaid pants. Now I can't return them.
I mean...he danced with his dick still inside of me. What more could a girl ask for?
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed...
Randomize
