So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
he wont speak to me right now because i told him it must suck knowing he'll never be as good as edward cullen..idiot.
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
We're friends. And when I drunkenly send u a pic of my left testicle i would appreciate a response.
It was the most graceful puke ever. I just thought she dropped something underneath the bar until she told me what happened.
Claiming territory at this party means signing a girls ass...I've got dibs on a blonde
Medically YOU CAN'T BE AN ALCOHOLIC TILL 25!!!!! WE GET 3 BONUS YEARS!!!!
also, the amount of semen in my carpet right now is unforgivable...
An outback commercial just played and I remembered that guy from Australia Imade out with at the Derby. Great Bachelorette Party, btw.
my dad just paid them in porn...i no longer feel guilty for getting hammered and not helping
my pupils became my eyes and i slept with a cloth in my mouth again
I just called the on campus pharmacy and asked the pharmacist to tell me how each one of my medications will react with "excess alcohol consumption". And I'm not even ashamed...I've reached a new low.
Drank your wedding present. Sorry
If Dr Phil has taught me anything about myself, it’s that I can seriously relate to those women who fake their pregnancies.
its not much but to go through all that to ask for half a balls worth of money was so stressful
Randomize
