I just got invited to go home with a married couple...
She might as well just lie down with one of those red "Easy Buttons" next to her
there are seriously like six guinea pigs in my bathtub right now
I've grown up since last year. I don't give blow jobs as birthday presents anymore.
she's a gynecology student. i don't know if my dick's ready for that kind of pressure.
Pillow talk just revealed that he originally thought I was 16.
You know me. Don't need roses, just dick and food.
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
She gave me a handjob at the dinner table while her dad was carving the turkey. I made eye contact with him. Im pretty sure he knew.
I fell asleep while we were Skyping and woke up to his balls bouncing in front of the camera while he sang "Wakey Wakey!" over and over again. Merryfuckingchristmas.
He seems like a lot more than a waste of tequila
Spoiler alert: my plans for Halloween are going to make our dealer's birthday look like a bunch of mormon ladies having a scrapbooking circle
Good news!! I can adult!! 😂 turning down the strip club on a weeknight has become my crowning achievement 😭😂
Dad is wasting no time getting back out there. Just walked in on him and a Twin Peaks waitress in the hot tub
The high school classes are online, not my sex life. He still comes over for “teacher / parent conferences.” A couple more “conferences” and I’ll be able to rewrite the Sex Ed curriculum
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