don't go home with that guy from jersey
i know, not worth the blood test
apparently they started giving me water shots and i couldnt tell the difference
The woman at walgreens tried to sell me clearance condoms with my fake eyelashes. Does it look like I get laid?
i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
I feel like a great embryo-shaped weight has been lifted off my shoulders.
I just had to ask my dad for money to pay for my birth control. I've hit financial rock bottom.
I'm gonna need a helmet and adult supervision by 9...
He insisted that I looked like Kiefer Sutherland, told me he didn't know what to do about it, then hugged me awkwardly.
I thought 4 percs were too many but I'm dumping Gogurt on apple pie and taking giant bong rips. This feels right.
You gave me balls I gave you half a boob. Fair trade
I don't even know man. I was to busy having beer showered on me and grabbing some balls
As soon as the clock wound down to zero, she declared "HALF-TIME HEAD" and pulled down my pants. After the swallow, she said "BEER CHASER," got me a new one, and asked if she could make me a sandwich. Pretty sure she's lobbying hard for a ring.
also, am i correct in guessing that advertising the size of my hypothetical penis is a turnoff to him?
Was the guy in the cowboy hat kinda hot or have I just not had sex in a really long time?
I like to make sure they know it's casual by giving then a high five after sex
Randomize
