Everyone knows that the fastest route to a corporate advancement is to take a shot in the mouth
he borrowed my computer and saw his name in my recent google searches. Things got awkward real fast.
I want to make a porn site called "girls with daddy issues"
i hate always having to make my eye shadow look really good since my eyes always end up closed by the end of the night in pics
I've been meaning to ask you. The first night in the city did we do key bumps with a suicidal homeless man? My memory is fuzzy
cracked out the beer snorkel again. that thing has a five for five record of getting me naked.
You have to keep an eye on her tonight cause you know how she likes to pickpocket people when she's drunk.
What goes on in that head of yours?
Gay sex, for the most part. Why?
The less money I spend on drugs, the happier my mom will be.
My hair is short now so it will be easier to give you alot more blow jobs
I'm going to take this text and frame it on my mantle
If they weren't representing Obama and the White House, they definitely would've punched me in the face.
I didn't get a chance to take any pics but the mental snapshot of her boyfriend calling her directly after we finished was a really special moment I wish I could properly share with you.
Is it weird that I'm looking up pubic hairstyles?
hi I'm Emily and I thoroughly enjoy getting minors hammered.. I'll start my AA intro just like that.
you were walking down the sidewalk and just puked. didnt even stop or slow down and just kept going. i was so impressed i didnt even tell anyone you threw up on passing peoples shoes.
Randomize
