Stoned at DSW. SO MANY SHOES! THEY'RE FREAKING ME OUT.
craigslist faux pas number 857, just got head in a disability bus.
I shagged another guy with one ball last night. Are there really that many dudes with one nut in la or am I just a magnet for prostetic testes?
just found out i fit into magnum condums. this is going to be the best weekend ever
For using a life jacket as a pillow, I slept pretty good last night...
it's ok. you also told me I can feel free to vomit on your blow dryer sometime.
Or maybe my penis is just the key to their locked boxes of crazy, and I unleash their wrath upon all of mankind just so I can get my nut off
Seriously though, you almost tore my right nipple off.
they sound like some classy girls.
Hey, I don't give them daddy issues, I just take advantage of it. The real bad guy here is American parenting.
Turns out the dorm toilet can't take a punch. Gonna be a long year without Mexican food.
I made it 1 week... 5 business days at my new job before sleeping with my coworker.
A girl just managed to steal a whole gallon of ice cream. I'm letting her go because that is impressive.
But unlike the human Walter the plant Walter will someday grow to satisfy my needs
Like Napoleon Dynamite?
Exactly like Napoleon Dynamite
But with bacon.
he went down on me and a few minutes later he asked to show me a magic trick. then he pulled a quarter out of my vagina
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