YOU CAN MICROWAVE POPTARTS!?!??!
Girl in front of me has spent the class alternating between playing farmville and the tiffany's website looking at engagement rings. Every once in a while she holds her hand up to the screen.
She doesn't deserve the breathe the same air that we do.
She just bought a cow and we've moved on to looking at wedding dresses.
never trust anyone who drives a pt cruiser.... write that down
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
just saw a couple drunkenly stumble over to the family planning aisle of Walgreens. inspiring.
You do realize I got a panda tattooed on my ass just to get you laid, right?
at one point he was caressing me in the kitchen asking me my name over and over again and then asking what my favorite continent was
It looks like sephora exploded on his dick, so i assumed I was the second girl that gave him head that night.
Alright, I can go by eventually,, I don't wanna lose a second pair of shoes this semster from blacking out...
I am a woman. I need to be selective about the porn I stream on my phone. Who knows if my cell will ever get lost, who will see it and what they'd think otherwise. Keepin' it classy tampa.
You tried to stop drinking but then she started feeding you tequila with a spoon. You were like an adorable baby bird.
another side note: i'm officially selling my underwear on the internet
If y'all wanna know how far the apple fell from the tree I'm sexting during Easter service. Mom would be so proud 😳
No dude shes like 5 feet tall and maybe 100 pounds... Normally i wouldnt be scared but someone gave her a bat. Thats why im in the bathroom
A dozen fresh-baked cookies delivered to my dorm AND I don't have chlamydia or gonorrhea... Could this night get any better??
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