Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
Walking by Farrand Field is better than a porno right now.
shes the kind of girl i dont like to talk to unless my penis is in her mouth.
Sorry I couldn't get my dick out
How was the bike ride?
Nope. High in the basement. Fruit cups.
There's nothing like sitting directly behind someone you fucked 5 years ago at church on Easter Sunday
The best part of tonight is drunk commenting on my moms pic about how birds just want to give you diseases and pluck out your eyes
But the real question is how many people didn't see my dick last night?
He's carved the words "SLAM STATION" into his headboard...
Man, you got so high you own goaled yourself in FIFA then got up celebrating.
You gotta own your makeout pics Matt. They're like badges of honor
did i just pee glitter
She took me to ER. She says thought it was a squirtgun filled with vodka and she was 'marking me for later.' Thank god it's a flesh wound, and we're cool and going to date.
gtg, the cops are here
Now I have the opportunity to have Chris Pratt or Channing Tatum?!? What a time to be alive.
I pointed at him and said “there goes mr fuckwad”
Randomize
