We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
its not stalking. its research.
I'm going to go hang out on a giant wooden pirate ship for 5 days.
Just threw up in airport security. Happy holidays.
Breaking hearts and overdosing on semen. That's my life.
His best friend's cat died so we had a drunken burial ceremony on the side of his condo at 2am and I'm pretty sure if anyone gets ahold of the video feed from Martini Monday we're all fired.
Sign she's a keeper: "I would rather be late to brunch than waste a perfectly good boner."
This is actually a pretty big deal for him. I mean, he contacted a stranger out of concern for someone else instead of for sex.
That does show growth.
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
There was a selfie of you in the dark pointing at the camera with a duck face. You sent it to my 60 year old mother with the caption "you behave"
Paying for my weed with Mike's hard lemonade freezables. The perks of having a gay dealer
If we had kids we couldn't come home, get high and watch porn together. And that's like the only reason I get up in the morning
I'm spring cleaning all of the fuck boys out of my life.
Never in a million years thought I would have to put jello shot recipe/equation into an excel spreadsheet
I just put vagisil on my bug bites how do you think my morning is going
Randomize
