True story: Just left my solo cup on a cop car. Yesss
you woke up, pulled a beer bottle out of your pants..took a drink and went back to sleep.
Wow, being the totally hot and slutty looking 30 year old lady on the dance floor does NOT necessarily mean that she has skills in bed.
We got them high and they had an hour long debate on the best way to get cum out of eyes.
you better fuck at least one or both of them.
i dont care if it was her birthday. if she leaves me with a half rack of budweiser and her boyfriend obviously shits gonna go down.
Dude you don't even know. I spilled the tequila and it took 4 people to stop me from drinking it off the table.
Duuuude. Everything is so brilliant right now. This frosting is freaking orgasmic.
It's vanilla, man. Accept no substitutes. There are so many t's in that word.
Jacob lost his virginity in a threesome. I am deffs fucking this kid.
DURING A THUNDERSTORM ON HIS BIRTHDAY.
Dude. Get me out of here. I'm surrounded by glitter-faced 40 year olds in halter tops. The desperation here is so thick you can taste it.
Rainbow fish was a wild success, got wasted at 6 gave away most my scales and made out with max from where the wild things are.You'd be so proud
He drunkenly stumbled over to me and told me my "crotch looks spectacular tonight"..... i think this could work
you know what? fuck you, fuck your nana, and ESPECIALLY FUCK THE BLACKHAWKS.
Hey bro are you still alive??? I'm sure you are wondering how you ended up laying on the floor at the foot of your bed and why there is a wheelchair by your door....
What conversation warrents "penis" in rainbow comic sans
It’s a 10 inch dick! Of course I’m getting a Brazilian
Randomize
