Do you think there's anyone left in this world that hasn't masturbated in a computer chair?
I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
She got a tattoo in memory of her cat, my attratcion to her is no more.
no memory loss, but i'm unhappy with my memories
She just ended a sentence with "and he doesn't even mind my herpes..."
It's getting increasingly easier to use his emotional instability to my advantage. That's about all he has going for him right now.
well you're talking about the girl who after 4 years, several relationships and several fuck buddies, has yet to have sex in an actual bed
Someone want to explain the bottle of ranch I found in my pants
At least I remembered to wear a bra. I feel like that's a big accomplishment right now
My serious response to your Cathy tattoo inquiry- Do you ever want to get laid by someone not wearing a Blossom style bucket hat? Tattoo accordingly.
Went to work in the same clothes from last night, completely covered in glitter...I didn't choose the hag life, the hag life chose me
you didnt realize it, but you puked in the bushes in front of a church and yelled "GOD IS DEAD"
*6am blends another margarita* *615am blends straight tequila*
Oh no...did you put star fish over your nipples again?
when i was on the highway she passed out and knocked my transmission into nuetral with her forehead...that was an experience
Randomize
