I know, he also has a fancy car to make up for his tiny penis
i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
Oh and apparently TSA has to open your present from my family or the terrorists win
she asked me if i wanted her to take her wedding ring off while she was giving me a handjob.
The only thing i was looking forward to on 4th of july was the google logo and they let me down. That and beer, lots and lots of beer
I have to verbally tell you. He looks good on paper...but he totally fails in person. Like communism.
Isn't it statistically impossible for THAT many ugly people to be in one place at one time?
I inspected his penis with a mini flashlight to check for visible stds...he was clean
my self respect just called, its having a good time without me
i licked icing off his dick. in front of his sister.
No. I want to vom filet mignon and ziti bits everywhere and my body feels like I ran a cock triathalon. I feel less triumphant and more like death.
The cleaning lady even cleaned my bong. I'm scared to open my sex toy drawer and see if and how she organized it
he just sent me a dick pic, it highly resembled a cheese stick
I have to choose between charging my phone or my vibrator. This is bullshit.
I woke up with a bunch of jolly ranchers and an eight ball in my purse. Successful
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