I just ate 3 burrito supremes and a crunchwrap...can't feel feet...I think I have diabetes
eating mexican with the mother in law. this meal made her decide to tell us about her colon cleansing diet
why does he think he needs to feed/take me out to get some ass? we are at a bar wasting my fucking time
WTF?! TAYLOR SWIFT JUST WON ARTIST OF THE YEAR OVER MICHAEL JACKSON?! WHAT IS THIS WORLD COMING TO?!
You tried to tell me you weren't high while you were eating French onion dip out of the jar with a spoon
If it looks really sketchy and smells like burnt pizza and pot you're in the right place
It's national boyfriend day supposedly, would it be appropriate if I posted a picture of my dildo?
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
I know. But whatever I'll just eat cold pizza and play with my cats by candlelight
I cnant read. Cheetos goen. Help. Grt Cheetos.
She thinks I'm afraid I'm gonna get caught in one of my lies and some of the girls I'm fucking will find out about each other. But it would be a relief to offload a few from the old crop and work in a few newbies into the rotation. The organization could use some new blood.
About to throw up, bathroom line up, Bro sees me. Yells, 'PUKER GET OUT OF WAY' THEY ALL PARTED WAY THREW ME INTO A STALL AND CHEERED AS I THREW UP INTO THE TOILET. we are going back
how does spending your day off taking me to the hospital sound?
Don't go to sleep yet I need your Mexican roots. Can you come make guacamole
A dozen fresh-baked cookies delivered to my dorm AND I don't have chlamydia or gonorrhea... Could this night get any better??
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