white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
Im watching he's just not that into you, eating way too much pizza, and feeling very single.
at 4 in the morning i heated a family sized mac n cheese for a minute and decided to eat it frozen cuz I didn't wanna wait for that long
I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
I sold my books for weed money!
Finals don't start for a week...
Um, yeah. You lit my birthday candles with a joint. Mom= not happy.
Found my little brother jerking off with a condom. he said he was "practicing"
OMG its one we used last night
Just threw up in my seat during the national anthem. Probably not good.
i need to buy one of the child leashes to wear at mardi gras or else im never making it out alive
just run out there and shit all over the driveway when he comes.. and then point at him
I woke up with my vibrator in my bed so I'm assuming I had a decent night.
It's something I can't competently describe without making sex sounds.
She's the good dick fairy. You buy her a beer and half an hour later the best lay in the place is asking to take you home.
What! I said that you would fall in love? See I know better. Dark liquor makes me think everything is a dream. I barely remember saying that
Rule number 1 of dorm living: do not forget your butt plug in the bathroom.
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