so I smoked with the leasing agent of the apartment complex. Of corse I am going to take this one
you never know, standards drop, they turn gay, shit happens.
Sorry about all the noise last night. We were trying to break bottles by kicking soccer balls at them. If it's any consolation, there's shattered glass and blood all over my kitchen.
letting you know, as a good neighbor, that when your windows open and your shade is up we can hear and see you dancing naked to money maker... nice boobs
His apartment number was 69. I had to.
running the faucet water is not hiding the sound of you vomiting. fyi.
Just so you know swallowing does not help chest colds. Your Phd can suck my dick
What made this night legendary was getting pulled over for looking suspicious while wearing an iron man mask
That's what you get for dating construction workers you meet in tunnels.
Only Tommy would bring a stripper pole to a bonfire
Just puked in my hallway. Good start to a great night
The best part about daylight savings time this weekend is we get an extra hour to be fucked up.
Em I need to know if his cum tastes like vodka. Report back.
He said that we couldn't refer to each other as brother and sister anymore cuz we were in no way related and he would love nothing more than to get naked with me.
I can tell just by looking at the wedding photos that the groom has hooked up with at least three of his groomsmen. I would feel bad for her except that she’s hooked up with two of the same ones.
Randomize
