Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
I found the other part of your tooth if you want to put it under your pillow
Slutapocalypse this thursday. Invite every freshieee you hooked up with this semester to my house. Think of it like a meet n greet for them and battle of the sluts for us.
I almost puked on my graduation application. perfect.
Remember when you picked me up from my walk of shame with a bike, I came out wearing a Ninja Turtle costume and you let me ride the pegs to thoroughly display the embarassment
He also gave me two gold stars for sex. On my nipples.
He drops f bombs like every other word and he just gave me 127 shares of tmobile stock for free. I feel like I should pay him back in blow jobs or something.
I wanna send them a card but I don't think hallmark makes a "sorry your fiance and another girl blew me at the same time in a frat house but congrats!" card
So are we just not going to talk about the time I came home to you jerking it in the kitchen?
2 six inch heels, 3 big sangrias, no broken legs
She knew the head wasn't all that so she gave me her taco. I'm will in to give her a second chance.
but seriously, an anthropology paper shouldn't be hard if you're trashed, right?
I'm really glad I had vomit on my sweater when I met his sister.
It was terrible. I am sore from head to toe, neither of us got off, and we were at it for an hour and a half, I faked having a heart episode so we could stop. It worked.
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