Haha na a cat just ran under your car. Howd that happen?
Probably a woman cat. Doesnt think things through
take 3 tylenol pm's and try playing basketball.
just to let you know coffee and vodka was a bad way to start the day
he was playing drums on rock band as i poured bailey's into his mouth. tell me that's not a bonding moment.
i remember too much of last night for it to have been successful
he threw up in a solo cup, then washed it out and used it to play flip cup. Im not sure if thats resourceful or disgusting.
I'm starting a point system. For every 2 beer runs i do for u slackers i get a free bottle of Barefoot.
You have not lived until you've puked on your sequined UGGs in the Rite Aid parking lot while going to buy emergency contraceptives.
She said she forgot something.. and when she came out she was carrying a garden gnome, and a bottle of vodka. she was too hot to question it.
Not to mention I think lunch is a little inappropriate when our relationship is only based on Mario kart and alcohol so far...
Reasons why I'm always right: I am older, I am wiser, I have a larger penis
My friend came into the apartment in real handcuffs at 4 in the morning. She was laughing and running around and then proceeded out the door...
I'm feeding a baby and swiping on tinder...what has my life come to?!?!
you would not believe who i just fucked on my lunch break
Hopefully he gets to dig deep into my body, before he digs deep into my past ..
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