She said as long as i don't wake her up she doesn't care what hole i use.
Got yourself a keeper right there.
i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
I told my girl, that I use to jerk off to Star Trek. All she says is, "Oh my gawd, you're such a trekie!". If I was her, I'd be weirded out more than me being a Trek Fan.
woke up this morning with pubes superglued to my face, not my pubes
dude, she was giving me a lapdance and her thong had a skid mark. no I did not hit it.
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
HE KEEPS WALKING AWAY. IT'S LIKE HE DOESN'T EVEN LIKE FRIES. WTF.
I believe in weed hangovers. To say the least.
Today is a wonderful day to be mildly hungover
The man was doing everything in his power to get away from his wife, including go into the gay club.
please let it be arousing that I used numbers to figure out how well I'd give you head
We shared a dick. We're practically sisters!
I FUCKED WHEELCHAIR DUDE
HE'S INTO WEIRD SHIT
GOOD KIND OF WEIRD SHIT
My boss asked me to pass over one of my business cards and instead I had condoms fall out of my wallet, how’s your day going??
Shit happens dude.
Shit doesn't just HAPPEN on the kitchen floor you asshole.
Randomize
